Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Randomize
