I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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