your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
