I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
