All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
