he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
