Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
