just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
So here I am, sexting at work.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
