Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
