I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Randomize
