It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
