We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
