You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize