i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
