Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
