I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
40s are totally the cure
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
