sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
