in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize