Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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