3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
