Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize