But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
