WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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