They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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