Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
