on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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