I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Randomize