it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
