They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Randomize
