Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
