How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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