He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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