normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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