I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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