I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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