i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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