The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
