"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
