I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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