Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
