I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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