I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
