he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
