Non-Jews are for practice
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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