The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
