end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
