i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
