If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i just sent this text using only my big toe
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
