He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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