all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
