It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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