so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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