Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
