You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
two words...techno handjob
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize