I've blown a few things in my day
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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