i already hear my dad disowning me
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
