yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
