I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize