okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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